2gabbygals's Blog

Wife, do this!!!

Posted on: April 9, 2010


Beatrice:     Tomorrow I will clean the house, do all of the laundry and cook my husband a wonderful meal because that’s my job as a woman!

So the statement above I copied from a status off of my facebook friend, Renee. I was disgusted by this status. I commented on it by saying this just set women back 40 years. This particular gal had a decent career, got married, struggled having a child, but now has a child and is a stay at home mom. She was my college roommate and am surprised by the comment. Actually offended.

Lila:     I am surprised that she would write something like that down. I know a lot of women who are very content with those traditional roles. Nowadays, there is a new ideal Stepford wife. She has to do all those things expected of her in the past and is also supposed to have had a successful career. That’s just how it is. How many mothers have you met who use to work and is now a stay-at-home mom? Tons, I am sure. Look at Michelle Obama. She was making more money than her husband and then she quit to take care of their kids and him.

May be you feel extra offended because now you are the main bread-winner. You are different from the norm. You are fighting the ideal. And it feels lonely there. You are not alone. There are many women out there who are fighting the good fight, just so they can make the world a better place for their sons and especially their daughters.

B:     I would not say I am offended based off of one day of my husband being laid off. I just find comments like that rude. My grandmother graduated from college in the early 40’s and had a successful teaching career, and my mother followed in her footsteps. I was raised in a family where my mom didn’t have to work, but she did because she had dreams for herself, and guess what both my mom and dad shared the duties of housework and meal making. My husband and I do the same thing.

I know several women who are also stay at home mom’s but they expect their husband to help out with the chores, and most of them wish they had a place of their own to go to everyday too.

L:     See, I don’t think it was that rude. I think she is doing what is part of her job description. We all have to do what is expected of us in our jobs. If I were a stay-at-home mom, and that was my job, I feel like that is what I need to do. Cook, clean, take care of my family. It’s part of the job. If you think of a housewife in that term, I don’t think it is too offensive. Just like I don’t think it is offensive for a stripper to take of her clothes. It is her job. Neither of those jobs are glamorous, but it is a job.

I also don’t think being a stay-at home mom is a step down and I would not be disappointed in someone who chooses that. I think we are allowed to have a change in our careers. We may be trained to do one thing, but as time pass, we are allowed to seek out other opportunities. Sometimes it is not familiar to us, sometimes it is.

I was raised in a household where my mother worked, cooked, cleaned, did everything. Of course she is super old school, but I think she had it rough. Now I work and share in the family household chores. I also get help because I cannot do it all. I will be honest, I would love to be a stay-at-home mom because I love to cook and clean and do all that stuff So I can’t find her statement too offensive.

B:     That is exactly the right response, because you do want to be a stay at home mom, whereas I do not want that for myself. Doesn’t mean I love my kids any less or am a worse parent. In my ideal world I would be able to work some from home, but still have a career. I find satisfaction in contributing monetarily to my household and future.

L:     The world has changed so much. we should be able to work from home. Now let’s see if we can make this work.

B:     That is the plan!

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