2gabbygals's Blog

I Finally Have a Date…with My Husband

Posted on: April 27, 2010

Beatrice:      So Saturday night was date night for hubby and I. We went to dinner and to see the movie “Date Night.” We don’t go on many dates, but we plan to change that. We had a really good night, and the date didn’t feel awkward or should I say we didn’t feel like strangers. I remember when we went on a date after a year of having Brody, we both just stared at each other. I remember talking to Ann about this and she said that she has had the same experience. I think it is a reminder to all married couples that have children, that you have to spend quality time with your spouse, and alone time. We don’t want to have the kids go off to college and then we look at each other and go who are you.

Lila:     Oliver and I go out on a lot of date nights lately. We have one scheduled for the 7th. I guess we did not wait that long compared to other couples, so it did not feel weird when we went out. Sometimes we go to the movies. Sometimes we just have dinner. It’s fun. Things will never be like before we had Thomas, but it’s nice to have a time with him. To be honest, we do a lot to spend time together. He is my life partner.

B:     I think this whole layoff thing with Toolman has really shed some light on a lot of things. We have always spent a lot of time together, but not alone. He was not the nicest person to be around this past 6 months and there were many of times I would lose it on him and tell him things needed to change or we will have major major issues. He was just really short with everyone and angry all the time. I had no idea it was all because of things going on at work. Literally the weekend before he was laid off, I told him he better figure out what is wrong with his moods because I wasn’t going to put up with it. He then gets laid off and his whole demeanor went back to himself. We go out ona  date and it becomes evident that there was a lot more going on at work than I realized. I knew he was really unhappy with work, but it appears to be a blessing that they released him. He and I had a heart to heart and he said all of this opened his eyes to what he will never go thru again.

L:     It’s amazing how something will really change you. Obviously in this case, it was for the better. I know having a long-term relationship requires a lot of work. You get comfortable with each other and you do things you do not even realize that you are doing. I am glad that you guys got a chance to talk it out. Things like that can eventually break up a couple.

One of the things we do is make sure Thomas goes to bed at a decent hour so that we can have time for each other. It works really well because we get to stop for a few hours and enjoy each other. For example, on Saturday we had wine and cheese and good conversation.

B:     That use to work for us too, but our children are at the ages where they have every excuse in the book to not go to bed. I have to go to the bathroom, now I am hungry, and oh now I need to brush my teeth and Mom I am thirsty now. Never ending. So our bedtimes get pushed further and further out just to have “us” time. We have decided to take a Friday or Saturday, every other weekend to have a date night.

When I was young my parents went out every single weekend, on a Friday and they made it fun for us too, so we didn’t feel like we were being dumped off with the babysitter. They have been married since August of 1969, and obviously doing something right.

L:     Thomas is getting there. He tries to protest and whines a bit, but we just shut him down. I am hoping he will not begin to protest to badly. Yikes.

My parents were not very loving so they never went out. My brother and his wife never go out with just each other. I think they took their first trip away from the kids last August after 11 years or something. Oliver and I are planning to go to Europe for his 40th birthday. We promised each other that our lives will not be just about Thomas.

B:     I think it is healthy for the kids to see you are still loving and want to be with each other. I know I never questioned my parents love for one another. They weren’t the touchy feely couple, but they respected each other and showed their love in other ways. Brody was so excited that his parents were going on a date night, which made us laugh.

L:     Ahhh…cute. Thomas loves it when we kiss. He loves it when we do “group hugs.”

B:     As do our kids. Although Toolman always says I am his mommy not theirs and they get all worked up. Of course it is all in fun.


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