2gabbygals's Blog

The Problem with Destination Weddings….

Posted on: May 3, 2010

Beatrice:     So I have a friend on FB that posted she hasn’t been invited to a wedding in years, now all of a sudden they have been invited to 5 for the summer, and one is in Mexico. So many people responded to her post and how they would opt out of the destination wedding. I found this to be interesting. I remember when Renee was getting married in Cozumel, and we spent over $2000 to go and take Brody as a baby, then the hurricane hit and the wedding was called off. She acted like such a jerk about the entire wedding and was put off about people asking her how to reschedule their tickets, that we ended up not going and got our money back. She was lucky to have the amount of people reschedule, but most were family. You had a destination wedding but you didn’t really invite anyone and everyone.

Lila:     That is so ironic you said that because I just saw an article about how people hate destination weddings. I remember when all that drama was going on regarding Renee’s wedding.

As a person who had a destination wedding, I definitely have my thoughts about the etiquette. We chose a destination wedding because the ranch had a special place in our hearts. We fell in love there is the bottom line. We also wanted a destination wedding because they tend to be small and focused on family. We wanted very little fanfare and only wanted to be around people who meant the most to us.

If a couple plans a destination wedding, they are stupid if they expect a lot people to come, unless they are paying for it. The only person they can expect to be there is each other. It is delusional and selfish if they think that people can just drop everything in their lives and come join them on their day. And then the money. It’s not cheap. If they expect everyone to attend, then they are forcing everyone to go on a vacation that they may not be able to afford. And on top that, the guests have to bring a present? It’s lame, just like it was lame when Renee was mad at you for not coming to her wedding.

Destination weddings are personal and just leave at that.

B:     After I wrote this email, Toolman said there was an article on CNN about this very issue. Renee was very selfish and then made comments that she didn’t realize I was tallying up in my head and then I said that is it. She would say things like, I only invited so and so because she was my mom’s neighbor and I really don’t want her there, and then the exact girl called me to invite me to room with her being Renee’s idea. I took that to mean, she didn’t really care if I was there either. Good riddance is what I had to say.

L:     I don’t know Renee, but from the stories I have heard, her expectations are way off from reality. She also seems like an emotional wreck and that explains why she was upset with you. Toxic friendships. When I was getting married, all I cared about was Oliver and me. I did not care if the officiant was a basket case because she was freaked out about the ride to the ranch. I did not really care about the caterers. I did not care about the flowers. I just wanted to make sure Oliver was happy. And he was. It should not be about anything else. That’s why I would love to do it again. I had so much fun.

B:     Toolman and I relive our wedding all the time, and had so much fun planning it.  The wedding it self was small and quaint, and in the perfect setting for us. I don’t think anyone was dreading going to our wedding, and we actually had some family that spent their money to come to CO to see us get married, and it turned out to be a little bit of a family reunion. I felt bad for Renee because her original wedding date was ruined by the massive hurricane, so she was a little crazy with nerves and rearranging the dates.  Had it been me, I would be going out of my way to accomodate my guests and make sure they either got their money refunded or had to not pay a thing to reschedule their trip. She just did not do this, and was pissed when people contacted her to find out the plans. Now I know why most people do not like attending destination weddings.


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