Infidelity – Would You Tell Your Friend?
Posted May 7, 2010on:
Beatrice: Would you tell your friend if you knew her husband was cheating on her? Or what if your friend was cheating on her husband, would you say something? I really don’t know if I would.
Lila: I would and I have. I told my very good friend, Shelby, that her boyfriend was a d-bag and cheating on her. She basically kicked me out of her life. I had to tell her because I would want my friend to tell me. There are a lot of reasons why I would want to know, STD is a very good reason. I willingly stopped being friends with her for a while until she eventually called me up and told me she caught him cheating on her. She was alone and I was there for her. We became good friends again because that’s what good friends do. Real good friends are honest with each other. We go through rough patches, but in the end, we can always rely on each other.
B: I do think I would tell if it was knowledge I had and could prove it, however I would know that the friendship would be temporarily over or over for good. I know that I would want to know, and would be upset if I found out last.
L: And I believe it depends on how close you are to your friend. For me, Shelby is one of my closest friends. However, if it were Dawn, I would stay out of it. It’s not a matter of whether she will listen to me, it’s a matter of whether I am in a place to say something. Even if I saw BF cheating on Dawn, I don’t think I would say anything. It’s just not my place.
B: I was just thinking of Dawn and how I told her ex about how I suspected Dawn of cheating on him. I totally forgot about that and now I guess I would say something. I didn’t even give if a second thought, but also he is a guy and guys aren’t going to dump a friendship over that kind of stuff.
L: I guess whether I thought they were a good person is a reason as well. Dawn is interesting, a walking contradiction. She was married to a cheater and hated anything that could be thought of as cheating, like going to a strip club. (I don’t think it is cheating by any means to go there. No one is doing anything.) Yet she cheated on her ex-fiancé. She is a personal trainer and all about being healthy, yet she thinks it is okay for her boyfriend to chew tobacco. She’s very bizarre. I don’t think she is a genuine person so I guess I would never bother to tell her about any infidelity.
B: I think she has issues when it comes to relationships, and almost looks for dysfunctional. Going back to the topic of infidelity, I think it is way more common than one would realize. It seems to me that there are a lot of willing participants when it comes to the place of work. It starts with the comments, and if you are a willing participant you roll with it and it leads to more and more.
L: Do you really think so? That’s sad. I have never cheated on anyone. Once I have committed, I am committed. Someone can flirt as much as they want, but I would never give in.
B: Nor have I and find it all very disappointing, however in the corporate world I have seen a lot around me and whispers amongst the other coworkers. There is a lady that flirts a lot, and if given the chance she would totally pounce. She complains all the time about her husband and does so at the most appropriate times.
L: I remember how shocked I was when I first went on a business trip at the age of 24. I could not believe the behaviors of these so-called adults. I hid in my room most of the time, but could not believe the antics. That’s when I noticed that these same people did not really act any differently when they were in the office. But I want to believe that most people don’t cheat. Am I being naive?
B: Well, I sure hope most people don’t cheat, but I do think it is more common than we would like to believe.