Dealing with Being Laid-Off
Posted May 10, 2010on:
Beatrice: With Toolman being off work and taking the kids to and from all of their events, he is starting to see that there are a lot of men out of work. He called me after the kid’s swim classes to say he met two fathers who were open about being laid off. Brody’s soccer coach was laid off on Monday too, and I guess when everyone showed up to the practice, the coach’s son announced to everyone that his dad was let go from his job the day before.
We chose not to tell the kids that daddy was laid off from his work, only because of this very thing and so that they would not have any worries. My mom keeps asking me if we have told Brody and acts like it is a big deal to tell them. I actually kind of got into it with her yesterday about not telling the kids. So stupid. Toolman was a product of uncertainty and it affected him so much that he internalized it. Our kids are happy that they are spending so much time with their dad, and really don’t question it, and why would we try to explain this to a 3 and 5-year-old.
Lila: That is a decision that only you and your husband can make. You decide what is best for your family. Not your mom. Not your dad. Not anyone else. There are reasons for doing what you are doing.
I know you are not feeling yourself these days and I am not sure if there is anything I can say to make you feel better. I’m just here to hear you out. Times are tough. I don’t blame it on any one group. I definitely don’t blame it on President Obama. I know there are a lot of people who have been laid off a long time. They make it work. Uncertainty is horrible for people who make plans and I know, you are a planner.
B: Yes the planner part of me is what is making me hate the uncertainty. My gut and heart knows there is a reason for it all and that he will find something great soon, and to relax, but then it is hard. I just do not want to worry our children. They don’t seem to know a thing is going on, and that is how we want it.
L: You know they can tell when you are worried. Kids are really observant and deserve more credit than what is given to them.
I think when I was laid-off, it was different. I did not have a child to worry about. I just had my dog. Not to mention I was offered a job pretty quickly. I did not want the job, but I thought maybe I need to take a step back in order to get ahead. It worked out fo me. Has Toolman thought about that?
B: Oh yeah, we had a heart to heart again and I told him this is the time he get the little nagging projects at home done. To ask my parents if they have anything he can do and then at his mom’s house, all which will keep him busy and will help out others. He use to do habitat for humanity and build homes, so I suggested he get back into the to volunteer and make use of his time, not to mention it is a good deed and potential networking can come from it. We definitely talk about all of this around the kids, and they haven’t missed a beat, and we haven’t changed anything in our day-to-day doings with them. Brody told daddy today that he likes him home, and hopes he can take more time off.
On a lighter note, we are picking up our couch today, so that will give our home a new update and I can hardly wait!
L: Oh that’s awesome. You need to focus on the positives. I know it is hard, but just channel your frustrations and fears on other things.
B: That is what I have told Toolman, that we need to stay busy and positive and enjoy this time while we have it. He woke up today feeling renewed and rejuvenated!