Another Episode with the In-Laws
Posted May 12, 2010on:
Lila: I should just use the blog as a forum for complaining about our in-laws, but I want real advice. Something other than just “ignore it.”
I have been asking Oliver if he had has heard anything about his nephew’s birthday this month. We have not heard anything and it is 2 weeks away. Come to find out, they have made plans and they have yet to tell us about it. Oliver said, “Well maybe she hasn’t sent out the invitations.” I told him it’s 2 weeks away, they must have sent them out already and we did not get one, which is fine. We’re family and they can just tell us about it. NOTHING. No word. We had to find out from someone else. We were together yesterday, still nothing. Isn’t that rude?
Then we went out for dinner, Oliver’s brother got the bill. We thanked him and everything. Later that night, he sends Oliver a text and it said, “Do you want to split the dinner bill with me?” Oliver was so mad because this guy decides on his own to pay the bill, get the credit, and then wants Oliver to pay for half? In the past, when they decide to split the bill, they talked about it first. How rude is that?
I give up. I told Oliver that they are losing it.
Beatrice: It kind of sounds like your sister-in-law is the one dictating all this. She was probably upset to find out that her husband covered the bill at dinner, and once they were alone to discuss it, she was mad and he had to then recover half. My mom has a sister-in-law like this. As far as the party goes, it just sounds like she wants to invite friends only and maybe it is the age issue too, where Thomas isn’t old enough to enjoy the birthday party, where ever it is they are going? Not that I think any of this is right, because I don’t, but I do know that this sort of thing happens. Like our neighbors across the street who has a boy 2 years older than Brody and last year Gabriel didn’t invite Brody to the party because he is now 7 and Brody was only turning 5, and the mom thought it was time he stuck to his own classmates. Gabriel and Brody play together, and are really good friends, but that didn’t stop Nadia. But Nadia, was nice enough to explain this to me. It should be different with your family. Maybe Oliver should ask his brother what they plan to do for the boy’s birthday?
L: Wow! Oliver blamed it on my sister-in-law, Terry, as well. He does not like her all that much, but I defended her. I just cannot believe she would be like that. Oliver says she is the jealous type and I just don’t see that. Maybe I am wrong. I understand how she might want all the kids there to be in the same age range, but we’re family. Again with the family excuse. And the party is at Chuck E Cheese.
I guess Oliver will have to confront his brother.
B: I agree with Oliver, and would say it is Terry. I don’t know her, but I know what I have seen at your baby shower and at Thomas’ birthday party, and yes she does seem to be the jealous type. As for Chuck E Cheese being the place, there isn’t a whole lot Thomas can do there yet, but he can go on the little rides, which he would like. They definitely should not leave you all out.
L: He’s been to Chuck E Cheese. He was there for one of the other birthday parties. He was younger and had a great time on the kiddie rides. So they can’t use the age range excuse. I am so mad at them. I have no idea what changed, but something changed.
B: If it really bugs you, then Oliver should address the issue with them and find out what is really behind it. When do you think it all started, can you pinpoint it down? Do you think maybe they are unhappy in their marriage and having 3 kids put them over the edge, which would be a reason to avoid family?
L: To me, it was during our Christmas vacation. A whole week with them may have been too much. I will leave it to Oliver.
B: I know that it is bothering you, so it needs to be addressed. That way it can be put to rest or so that you know where you all stand.