Bigger Kids, Bigger Problems
Posted May 13, 2010on:
Beatrice: Today is Kindergarten orientation for Brody. I met his teacher last week at his speech transition meeting, and I am very impressed and pleased. My neighbor told me to try to get into this lady’s class, although I am not the type to shuffle our kids around so that they are in the “best”, but this time I think we lucked out. Is it weird that I am excited for Brody to go to kindergarten? Most parents dread it and end up crying, but I am excited for him.
Lila: I have no idea, but I think most parents have mixed feelings. When the time comes, I am probably going to feel sad that Thomas is all grown up and does not need me like he use to. On the flip side, I’ll be glad to see him move onto another stage. It will be interesting. Brody is a big boy now!!!
B: Oh Brody still very much needs me and I still see him as my little guy, but I know how much he thrives with social settings, so I am thrilled to see him start this journey. E’claire starts preschool in August, and I am anxious to see her off to the social setting, since she doe not really crave it like Brody.
L: You know they say bigger kids, bigger problems. You are going to have to deal with new problems like will they get an allowance and how much? What happens if they have issues with bullies? Worse, what if they are the bully? Yuck. How are you going to deal with that?
B: We will deal with all that as it gets here. I do not dwell on the what ifs when it comes to my children because some of it may never happen and all it does is worry me when it is not necessary. I remember being so worried when I was pregnant with him, then he came out and I learned the worries only begin. I have learned to not worry about the unknown.
L: That’s true. I just know kids are forced to deal with so much now. I remember being at a birthday party and two moms with daughters in kindergarten, were talking about they had body image issues already.
B: There are so many kindergarten aged children in our neighborhood and they are all so very innocent still. I can not imagine any kindergartener talking about their bodies, so bizarre. I have seen where kids start to pick their groups of friends, at least Ann has stated this and said it is mainly the girls who do it.
L: I have heard them talk and they understand a lot. I am not around a lot of them, but enough to overhear these conversations once or twice. I think it has to do if they have older sisters for the girls. They want so much to be like their older siblings and learn a lot from them.
B: Could be their moms too, which was my first thought. My aunt has major body issues, and is bulimic / anorexic, and raised two daughters, who have a lot of self-esteem issues, feel they have to outdo everyone when it comes to fashion, hair, accessories. I think weight should not be discussed around your children, and comments about others weight is a huge no-no. Brody said to me the other day that Sam’s dad is really fat (soccer teammate), and you know he was right and it was rather shocking, however I laid into him for making such a comment and expressed to him that those comments are hurtful, etc. Kids are observant and speak truths, but it is our job to set them straight if it crosses the line.
L: That’s what I am talking about. There are overweight people everywhere and they are observant enough to say something. You may say something to them, but that does not mean other parents are as active about telling them about what is right and wrong. Then they go to school and misbehave and the other kids copy. This happens all the time. They may be fine in the classroom and at home, but it is when they are free to think for themselves is when they get easily influenced, I think. I saw this happening a lot when I was a teacher.
B: Well all of that will be addressed when the time comes. I am not going to even say what I would do, because who really knows how to handle it until it happens, if it happens. It is like what Renee said to me the other day about how she use to always say, “Oh I would never do that, or how horrible of a parent someone was” and how she has eaten all of her words. Made me laugh.
Something else I was just thinking about is Sarah, and how before we all had kids she said to Jason that Toolman and I would have redheaded freckily children, and they would have the brown hair blue-eyed pretties. Well, we know how off that turned out. She would also make comments about other people’s children and then say how her kids would never be that way. Her oldest is in the 2nd grade and was removed from the private school for poor behavior.
L: You’re right. Who knows what will happen and how we will handle it. Oliver and I have admitted to being totally wrong about Terry. Now we understand why she does what she does. All I know is that I have to get my son to stop sucking his thumb and get potty train. Goals are so short-termed these days.
B: I took E’claire to the library for storytime and saw around 5 kids sucking their thumbs. This group was for 3-5 year olds. Ann’s daughter who is 4 still sucks her thumb all the while rubbing her neck. I guess it can be tough to break that habit. That is one area we have no experience in. Ann said she has tried all sorts of things, even bribery and feels at a loss on what to do. I never knew Thomas sucked his thumb, what do you plan to do to get him to break the habit? He is still very young. Both my kids started the potty around 16 months, but I didn’t push it because they weren’t consistent. Brody was the easiest to convert out of diapers and I just spent the entire week at home with him only in underwear, and then he was done, but it was right after he turned 2. E’claire wasn’t as consistent and I wasn’t really ready for her to do it either. But she did the week after she turned 2. She wets the bed though.
L: I am not too worried at this time. I alway tell myself what you told me, “it’s not he is going to walk down the aisle with a bottle in his mouth.” I just substitute “bottle” with other things. I think he still needs the comforting thumb for now, but after our Hawaii vacation, we’ll do something about it before he gets too attached. My girlfriend, Ali, had the same issue with her daughter. She sucked her thumb so hard that she blistered it. They put a bandage on it for a week and since she did not get the same satisfaction with it on, she stopped. We’ll try that.
Potty training is no rush. I am going to let find his own way. I think he is almost there though.