How Weird is Common-Law Marriages?
Posted June 2, 2010on:
Lila: Yesterday you mentioned you thought Toolman’s friend, Steve, was weird. One of the reasons you brought up was the fact that he was involved in a common-law marriage. Do they have kids? And do you consider that type of relationship weird?
Beatrice: I do not think he is weird because he is in a common-law marriage. I was just trying to give you a glimpse of who he is. That is a huge part of who he is and has major committment issues. No, he and Gayle do not have children, but have a lot of dogs, the yap-yap kind. They have been together for over 20 years, but mention marriage and he freaks out.
L: Do you think getting married is the ultimate sign of commitment? He’s devoted 20 years to her and the dogs. Isn’t that a commitment in itself?
B: You are putting words into my mouth. I never said his commitment issues are due to not getting married, I just say this because he says this. Again, I don’t think it matters if people put a ring on it. He has commitment issues based off of his own comments saying that he does. He has told Toolman that if he were to marry Gayle, they would get divorced. He likes everything separate. We have told him that he is technically married since they live together. But they do not own the home jointly, so he argues that they are not considered married. He has his name on the home but Gayle is on all of the utilities.
For me, I would not choose this but that is their perogative.
L: Oh no, I am not attacking you. It’s hard to convey your every thoughts when you have it written down. I am just trying to strike up a topic.
He’s probably a strange guy for having 5 dogs. That is weird. 2 is okay, 3 is pushing it, 4+ is ridiculous. On the other hand, I understand where he is coming from. If I were him and did not want to have children, I would not marry either. I know a few couples who have made a lifetime committment to each other without getting married. I think they have a super healthy relationship. I also have cousins who have had children and have never married for whatever reasons. I think that is weird.
This guy, Steve, does not realize this,but if they ever broke up, she can sue him for palimony and will win. He has taken care of her for so long, the courts will find in her favor.
B: With regards to the court issue, we have told him this too. I have even said to him that if it is a topic of discussion then he should question what he is really doing. I would hate to find out that the guy I have devoted my last 20 years to is going around telling people how so not married we are and how he keeps things separate for that very reason. Guess what, I bet their beds are not separate.
L: Well, it’s their weird life. If she likes it, then there is nothing else to do. But if he is dissatisfied, she should grow some balls and let him know he is disrespecting her.
B: She may very well not care, as she is a perfect match for him. I have only met her a handful of times, but not your typical mid 40 something.
L: Then good for her. She has made her choice for her life partner.