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Read the article here: Boyfriend’s Affadavit

Lila:     What is wrong with these people? First of all, this is an 18-year-old having a sexual relationship with a 12-year-old. She’s not even a teenager yet and the pervert is attracted to this girl. Sicko. And then the sicko’s mom?!!! Who kicks their children out so you can live with your new boyfriend? A registered sex offender no less. This is so tragic because now the 12-year-old is dead. But what is wrong with these people? Don’t they see how dysfunctional it is to behave this way.

Beatrice:     I read about this earlier. There are some secrets in her family?? Why did it take this long to get out, and I wonder if the mother of Kayleah came forward with all this while she was looking for her daughter? How can a 12-year-old have a boyfriend and he is 18?? Glad he is in jail!

L:     I know! That is so disgusting. This kid should have been questioned a long time ago. I know he has not been found guilty of killing her, but WTF? That is so messed up. The mother should be charged for neglect because she should have done something about the relationship when she found out last December.

B:     I think there is something way more to the story that isn’t being told. He isn’t even considered a suspect, which makes me wonder if someone in her home is?? If you had knowledge that your daughter was having relations at the age of 12, then you shouldn’t let her walk to a party by herself. I would be questioning everywhere she is going and doing!!!

It seems kids are growing up way too fast. When I was 12, I was awkward and still very much a girl wanting to play with my other girl friends. Sure I thought boys were cute, but I wasn’t thinking sex.
L:     When I was twelve, I would giggle when I saw people kissing. I think, just like when we were kids, these kids want to be like the people they see on TV. The difference is the people on TV are much more sexually active nowadays. Look at some of the shows. They are freely having sex in high school and it’s all okay. No, it’s not. A young kid is too emotionally immature to handle something like that. Who am I kidding? A lot of “adults” are too immature to handle sex.
B:     I wouldn’t blame it on TV, as Europe is very open sexually and have always been. They started having the same issues as US around the same times. One would argue that you expose kids to it, then it becomes no big deal and would steer children away from it. I wouldn’t argue that as I think sex is an adult matter and should be treated as such. I think our society has so many flaws that it is hard to say where and what it is that makes us this way. More access to all this technology doesn’t help, in fact I am fearful it will lead to our demise. More and more people having children out-of-wedlock, getting divorced, having overall a dysfunctional family, etc. All of this is more common than it once was.
L:     Then what is it? What is causing our children to be so promiscuous at such a young age? I want to protect my child. I want him to make intelligent decisions.
B:     I don’t know what is causing it. My guess is a lot of factors. It is up to us to raise our children differently. We have been keeping the TV off at nights, only watch it when they are asleep. Why do high school kids look older, more like college age? Why are teenage boys bigger than many adult males? These are all questions I have. I go to the gym and see girls and boys, who have their high school attire on, but they look much older than they are. Really sad!
L:     If you ask my mom, she would say, “it’s because of the milk and hamburgers.” Maybe she is on to something. But the hormones are just making the kids physically mature faster. There have even been studies showing this was true. But I think the things they see and allow to experience makes them want to emotionally mature faster. I mean there are day spas that cater to children. Why would a three-year old need a manicure and a pedicure? Keep this up and there is no doubt they would want to have sex earlier.
B:     All the processed foods and the fact we want to give kids everything we do as adults. Maybe?
L:     Wow…you summed it up in one sentence for me. Awesome. But because this happens, we entice the sexual predators more and more.
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Beatrice:     This guy who sits next to me has had a bout of bad luck. He just came in to work today with his right eye black, swollen. The same side of his face is swollen and bloody. He has a fat lip and overall unrecognizable. I asked what in the hell happened to him and he said that yesterday, in broad daylight, he was walking on 26th and Glenarm, which is 3 blocks from his home and was jumped by two guys. He didn’t even see it coming. He can not identify who did it. He didn’t go to the hospital nor call the police. I am shaking because it looks so bad. I immediately called my manager and told him to come look at it as it is horrifying.

L:     Sounds like he is hiding something. Did they take his wallet or anything?

B:     I don’t know. He is a strange guy to begin with, but I think he may have a concussion. He was told to go see our doctor on site and they told him he needs to get an x-ray and have his cut sewn up. I feel so bad for him, but yet our manager acted like “whatever”. I would think they would be more compassionate over someone looking this way. He doesn’t have family and really needs help in a circumstance like this. Going back to your comment of whether or not he is hiding something, I was wondering that when he said he was walking by this place he always goes to where this girl is at and wham next thing he knew he was on the ground. However, he lives in 5 points area, which is still not on the up and up. Remember all the stories from last summer where men were being beat up by 2 or more guys for no reason at all.

L:     I think our policies and procedures dictates that we don’t get too involved. These managers are not paid to care for us in a humane way. They do want is enough to cover their a$$es and that’s it. It sucks.

I don’t think people get beat up for no reason.

B:     Gangs beat people up for no reason, and it was a huge issue in the city of Denver last year. Enough to where they pulled in DC gang task forces to figure it out. Anyway, in this case I am starting to get the picture from some of my colleagues that he likes to drink and get mouthy, so I am wondering if this may have contributed to it.

L:     I remember that after I sent you my last response. I heard on the news that the random crimes in Downtown has increased. Makes you not want to hang out here.

This guy, though, is weird. Why would you not report it unless something shady was going down?

B:     The more people I have spoken to about his incident they all suggest he came in as a cry for help. Maybe there is something big is going on. Still shocked me and I feel for him.

Beatrice:     So there is a house on our block where the family has lived there for around 6-7 years. I use to see the man and woman walk their dog every morning and we would wave and sometimes exchange words. They have a son and daughter. Last summer I started noticing the lady wearing scarfs and hats, and told my husband that she must have cancer. I spoke to her for a short while on Halloween when the kids trick-or-treated at her home, and she said she has her spirits up and just taking a day at a time. Last Sunday, Toolman was washing his motorcycle and came in to tell me the ambulance and fire truck were at either their home or the house next door. Then my friend across the street stated she was taken to a hospice where they have given her a month to live. Her daughter is a freshman in high school and the son is a freshman in college. You can tell the husband has lost a ton of weight and is not doing well emotionally. Nadia was telling me the story after she asked if I wanted to go in on a baby gift for another one of our neighbors. I then told Nadia that we need to do something for this family as a neighborhood. Makes me so sad. I keep thinking how this daughter and son have to go through life not knowing from one day to the next if their mother is going to survive. Makes my heart heavy.

Lila:     That’s so hard to read. I really don’t know what to say. Maybe before you send them a gift or something, you can ask if they need anything. Or you can do what we are doing for our teammate. We originally tried to pay for lawn care while the family is having to deal with their family cancer issues. The lawn care company offered to do it for free. We are now putting together some gift baskets. Maybe you and your neighbors can just mow their lawn while you are doing yours. I think little gestures mean so much more than material gifts.

B:     I totally agree with all of that. I just can’t stop thinking about how the children feel and what they are going through. I lived such a carefree childhood and all children should. And then it makes you think about what if this sort of thing happened to you as a parent. What would you do? What would you want most for your kids? How do some children take only good out of a horrible situation and how do some turn the wrong way because of all the grief? It was hard for me to want to go in on a gift for a lady who isn’t really all that nice who is on her 3rd child, knowing that down the street a crisis is really going on in that family’s home. Makes me so sad!

L:     That’s fine that you don’t want to give that other lady a gift. She probably doesn’t need anything because she is on her third child. But she does deserves well-wishes. She is bringing another wonderful child into the world and that is worth celebrating.

As for the sick neighbor, I am sure it is hard on the children. But the truth is, if it has to end, it’s a good thing that it is ending quickly. I know a family who dealt with cancer for 10 years before she eventually passed away. The boys never really knew their mother as a healthy person. The youngest, who was 12 or 13, when she passed away, was absolutely heartbroken. He will go through life holding onto just a few happy memories. At least these kids have some wonderful memories of their mother young and vibrant.

B:     I have already given the lady down the street some of E’claires things and I have expressed all sorts of well wishing and will go see the baby once it is born. I was just taken back when Nadia wanted to figure out a gift for her but not think about something we can do as neighbors for this family. Once I mentioned it though she was all for it, but wanted me to set it up. This is where I use my father’s advice for approaching the needs of terminally ill. Having a father who is a reverend comes in handy in these scenarios.

Lila:     Is it me or is narcissism an epidemic created by the media? I recently downloaded 2 songs from a singer named Jason Derulo and in both songs, he says his name. Now I know, he is a singer and they have an ego to begin with, but he is not the only person who needs to assert himself this way. Think about all those parties that are being thrown these days where you can hire fake paparazzi to be there. I mean what is that all about? The entertainment world is permeating to the normal world. I know this is not a new thing, but how did it get this bad?

Beatrice:     I have no idea, but seems to me we live in a very selfish world and unfortunately there are people out there that actually think the real world is celebrity world, when that is all fake. I think with all the technology and access to the world, it can perpetuate the problem.

L:     I think you are on to something. The accessibility to things that can make you a celebrity or give you 15 minutes of fame perpetuate the problem. Everyone thinks they can do it and gives them an ego. We have alway wanted to be like the stars we love, but now they have elevated themselves so much that crashing down to earth will kill them.

My friend, Shelby, acts like she is something really special. I know she’s really pretty and a lot of people confirm that, but her narcissistic attitude is ridiculous. I had dinner with her on Monday and she spent the whole 3 hours talking about herself like she was Paris Hilton or something.

B:     Sounds like your friend Shelby is insecure. This is what the real problem is, all these insecure individuals that crave and want the attention so that they feel loved. I don’t however think this is the majority of people. Just the ones who can not see straight and have a warped sense of reality and haven’t experienced what love is whether it be from their family during childhood or how to love oneself. So they crave it and think becoming celebrity or whatever will get them to that point.

L:     I know she’s insecure. She’s been dependent on her looks her whole life. Imagine when it dissipates. But can you imagine spending three hours hearing her talk about herself? I know she’s funny and all, but geez…give me a break. I am guessing this is what all these managers and agents have to deal with all day long.

B:     I have a friend who only talks about herself, and the minute you try to speak she will shoot you down or is ready to call it quits. You know her, Logan? So Shelby is not very smart? I have so many off the charts good-looking friends, and what makes them even more beautiful is they know they are good-looking but they don’t depend on it, as they are highly intelligent or very talented at something they have passion for. Again it all comes down to one’s upbringing and insecurities.

L:     It’s not like she is not smart, just well-educated. She really is like Paris Hilton. She knows how to get others to work for her and believe her, but you could not really ask her about current events. She’s not well-read. That is her biggest insecurity. Because if anyone really figured it out, they would be disappointed because she is not exactly deep.

B:     Well I would stay away from comparing her to Paris Hilton if she is well-educated, because Paris Hilton is a highschool drop out.

L:     Lol. I forgot the “not.” I meant that she is NOT well-educated.

Hi everyone. Lila here. We just want to take a day off from our usual format because I wanted to express some of my personal thoughts on “Lost” and since Beatrice did not watch the show, she would not really have any input. So here it goes….

It’s Tuesday night and I am going through some serious withdrawals. Tuesday nights are great TV nights for me. Glee, Lost, V, Parenthood (yes, I am admitting to liking the show) are all on. Unfortunately, they are on at the same time so my Tivo overheats on Tuesdays. But not tonight. Lost is over and I am so sad. Never have a I been so dedicated to a show or personally invested in characters on a show. It has elicited sadness, anger, happiness, confusion, and too many other emotions to write down. But the most important feeling that has come out of all this, because of the finale on Sunday, is SATISFACTION.

Thank you Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse for taking me on this wild ride, but most importantly, giving me hope. As I watched the finale, I was completely happy with how all the characters were somehow able to make peace with themselves and found each other. The joy I had when I saw that Rose and Bernard were still on the island and very happy with their simple lives. If only we can all live like them. When Jin and Sun realized that they had a child together, it brought tears to my eyes. However, when Sawyer, the bad boy of the show, found his true love, Juliet, I could not hold back. That tough exterior broke down again because he had his true love back in his arms. Everyone must have been touched.

But if I must complain about the show, there is one thing…how dare they make my Hurley cry again!!!! Enough! Stop doing that to him. I think he was the perfect choice for the protector of the island. He and his sidekick, Ben, will embark on many adventures in the future. I hope there is a spin-off of the show with the two of them and call it “Found.”

As for the sideways reality, that so many complained about, including myself at the beginning, I hope there will be a place like that for all of us in the afterlife. Everything about the show can be summed up in the last conversation between Jack and his father, Christian. They were all there because they were dead, but more importantly, they had a second chance to make peace with their own flawed lives and the complicated relationships that they had with others in their lives. Everything happened and nothing can be changed, but have faith that everything will work out in time. The writers are saying, “Hey, you can’t give up on Faith. It exists.” Faith gave them a chance to find each other and make amends with their lives. (I appreciate how the writers were careful to not identify with any specific religion because all religions really preach the same thing. That church, where the “funeral” was held, had all the religious faiths displayed around the room.) I hope that when I have passed, it will be like this. I hope I will get to see  the loved ones that I have lost to have that one last conversation with them. I hope there will be a Desmond, who will guide me along. I loved the ending so much that I would like to join the Church of Lost. It gave me so much hope because God knows, I need it. We all need hope.

So again, thank you Lost for the journey, for the renewal in hope and faith. Thank you.

Lila:     I just read this on CNN. I know the first time an experiment like this was done on kids was a long time ago. Maybe 3 or 4 decades ago. You would think things have changed, but obviously it hasn’t.

CNN article: Kids’ test answers on race brings mother to tears

Beatrice:     I don’t know what to say about this. I really hate these type of topics and really have to ask what purpose does this type of survey serve, other than create more anger. I also think it is ridiculous that they show the white girl answering the questions, rather than several different ethnic groups, just to provoke a response. Why show the children on camera at all? As to your question, do you really think things have changed? I do and I don’t, and media promoting these sort of experiments do not make things better. It is our own individual responsibility as parents and human beings to promote what is right and as parents we are to teach love amongst human beings which shows no bias.

L:     You are right. It is up to the individual parent to teach their children about differences and races. However, the mother even admitted to the problem of exposure. They may be living in an area that is predominantly white and the little girl does not really have friends of other races. It happens.

I don’t think this kind of reporting is meant to elicit anger out of people. I think it is a matter of letting the truth be known. Race is still a huge issue in America. Look at what is going on in Arizona. Look at the epitaphs that are being spewed at the Tea Party rallies. This kind of reporting is meant to say, “Let’s take a step back and look at ourselves.” We do not knowingly spread these kind of feelings.

I will be the first to admit this, I think my son is considered more beautiful on my side of the family because he is lighter skin than his cousins. My brother says it all the time when he looks at Thomas, “Wow, he is so white. So beautiful.” I am completely cognizant of this and I will teach my son to embrace all the differences the world has to offer.

We went to a birthday party this past weekend and almost all the kids there were mixed. It was refreshing and really neat to look at all the beautiful children. We are going to another party at the end of the month. We know at that party there will be mostly White children, who are equally as beautiful. The first child will grow up surrounded by cultures, but let’s not assume he will not grow up and be somewhat biased about the color of other people’s skin.

This reporting, to me, shows that there is a lot of work I have to do.

B:     I guess it is weird to me that you think about the different cultures that will be present at a birthday party. I don’t give it two thoughts, never ever crosses my mind. I was not raised to ever think of it as being an issue. We lived next door to an African-American family, a Hispanic family across the street, and my own family which are White have married into all colors of our human rainbow. I never once thought about race until I became an adult and dated a Black man who started telling me about our differences. I choose to raise my children as my parents raised us.

L:     But it is something you should think about. It is something that is there and people, like the poor lady in video, never stop to think about it and is shocked when her daughter answers the way she does. One of the biggest things that I have learned growing up and being different is you can immerse yourself in the culture, but if you don’t recognize the fact that you are not quite like everyone else, you unintentionally perpetuate the problem. Recognizing the differences allow you to embrace it and learn from it. It’s like you are sitting there eating an apple and someone hands you an orange. You know the fruits are not the same, but you eat it anyway. How will you share the pleasure of eating an apple and an orange if you don’t admit that they are different fruits? Recognizing differences is not a bad thing. It is a starting ground.

B:     I do recognize differences, and having gone to most countries of this world has taught me the big differences and I appreciate the beauties of it all. What I am saying is it is not something I think about or see when discussing the color of one’s skin. Appreciating each others cultures is quite different from wondering what color of the human spectrum is going to be in front of me from day to day or function I go to.

L:     I guess it’s different for me because no matter what room I walk in, I am identified by my skin color. You learn to always recognize that first.

B:     And that sucks!

L:     Not really. People don’t overtly judge me maliciously, but there are a lot of people who feel like an outsider who are not as easily accepted.

B:     I guess one has to ask the question, how do you know you are being judged by your ethnicity? I guess the comment “and that sucks” comes from my wondering how you know this is how you are being identified by your skin color and what makes you assume they being people are judging you by your skin color. I walk into a room and get all sorts of looks, and I don’t wonder if it is because I am a blue-eyed blonde. I just never understand this type of thinking. You said you learned to always recognize that first, and how did you learn this?

L:     I guess you never questioned it because you are most likely not the only blonde haired, blue-eyed person in the room. And I guess you’ll never really understand it because you are part of the majority. If you ask any person of color about this, they will say, “Yeah it happens a lot.” I know I am being judged by the color of my skin because without fail, someone will ask me where I am from. Of course I always respond, “California” because I cannot assume they are questioning my ethnic background. This is when they go back and embarrassingly rephrase the question to mean my ethnicity. And then they’ll say something like, “Wow, you don’t even have an accent.” That last part use to bug me so much because why would they assume that I had an accent when I was raised and educated by the American educational system. If I were raised in England, wouldn’t expect me to speak like the Brits? It’s weird.

Anyway, I am not saying you are not empathetic, but maybe you don’t understand because you are White. It’s happening. You can hate it, but it’s true.

B:     I guess it is something that I have never firsthand experienced nor really have discussed with the multiple of friends that I have from other countries and ethnicities. It came up several times with Reginald, and he was always quick to believe he was being treated differently because of the color of his skin. I was there and it didn’t happen 9.5 times out of 10, and he was the one who typically created an issue. Having met you 5 years ago I never really thought of our differences because we have so many similarities. People need to realize if you strip one’s blood and compare all of us, we are all exactly the same, it is your culture and upbringings that make us unique, which for me is why I like to ask people who they are and where they are from, not because of the color of your skin. I genuinely want to know people.

L:     I understand where you are coming from, but I don’t think you can dismiss what Reginald is saying. There are nuances that occur over and over again and you would never notice it unless it happened to you repeatedly. I know you don’t mean any harm and most people don’t either, but as Americans, we judge what we see. Unfortunately what we see most of the time is the color of someone’s skin because it is the biggest organ on a person. It’s just like in parts of Africa, the people are judged by the size of their noses. Now I rarely notice someone’s nose unless it is really big or really small, but that’s how it is.

In America, most people who we see on TV, leading us, working with us, are White and therefore we are conditioned to believe that is the norm. We, unconsciously, sway our children to judge that way. There is no malice anymore, for the most part. Ask any of your friends how they identify themselves. Your non-White friends will include in their description, their ethnicities. You won’t have someone saying, “I am a White man, father of two.” However, you will get, “I am Black mother of one.”

I just remember growing up and wishing everyday that I was White. You think I am joking, but I am not. I wanted so badly to be White so I can be like everyone else. But as I have learned, it is okay to be different. So now when someone ask me to identify myself, I’ll say I am a 35-year-old Asian woman who has a wonderful husband and a beautiful son. And I love every bit of it.

B:     You should add in there that you are a beautiful Asian woman!

L:     Thanks, B. You’re super sweet.

Lila:     Yesterday I found out one of my teammates has to deal with another health issue. She was diagnosed with breast cancer last year. She is still going through chemotherapy so she works from home. Every time I see her, she smiling and laughing. So awesome. I found out that her 5-year-old was diagnosed with lymphoma this past weekend. How tragic is that? How can one family be put through so much? Life really isn’t fair.

Beatrice:     Wow, that is really sad! I often wonder if families that have cancer or have multiple people in the family with cancer, if they live somewhere that causes it, like power lines or water, etc. There has been lots of studies that suggest this. Or do they have a genetic coding that is triggered. Once again all these things are stuff you worry about when you have kids. I have a close childhood friend who had leukemia from the age of 3 to around 5 or 6, and she is still alive today and has two children. So both of them can beat this and I pray they do. 

L:     I looked up the kind of cancer he has and it is linked to some genetic coding. It is still so sad because he’s 5 and no five-year old should have to go through chemotherapy.

My question is how does a family, who is dealing with so much, handle another one? The family has to be so strong. I am not sure if I can do it.

B:      I think you would have to have a strong faith and support group to get through it all. As a mother, I am sure I would just do all I could to get my child healthy and maybe not have much time to think of all the hardship.

L:      I am sure you have to stay strong as a mother, but she was down already. I commend her. You spend your whole life, from the point of conception on, protecting your little ones. You make sure they eat, learn, and are happy. You don’t want bad things around them. And then this happens. So sad.

B:      No one is immune to these sorts of events, and it is all very scary. As your friend you should see what you can do for her. Maybe you can make her some meals. This is the time they need support and a reminder that they have love and prayers.

L:      That is what I was going to do.

B:     That would be great! Let me know if you want any help. We can always look at things the 5-year-old would need too, which we can work on getting for him.


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