2gabbygals's Blog

Lila:     You know I truly believe that you do not have to get marry and settle down. I think the institution of marriage is really a joke these days because people don’t respect the sanctity of marriage. I do, however, believe that it is our natural instinct to find a mate or a life partner. But have you ever wonder why some very beautiful women are not involved with someone? I know you might say, ” Well they are focused on their careers.” Maybe, but I am talking about girls who aren’t. I have a ton of girlfriends who are not involved with anyone, nor have they been recently involved with anyone, and their career lives are mediocre at best. Why is that? Even the girls from Sex and the City settled down at some point. Why are my girlfriends alone?

Beatrice:     I have a couple of really good-looking friends that haven’t settled down and not much of a career either. As far as my friends go, they are really immature and have never been good in relationships. One of my friends in particular, is a pretty big drinker. She will get the guy and they will go out on their first date, and usually he never calls for a second. I often tell her she is misunderstood because she is a wonderful person and a great soul, but just very immature. She also tends to be a know it all, for instance she is a realtor but if the guy is a doctor she will tell him how she would be a better doctor than him. She is hilarious, but I have known her since a child. Once again she has a really messed up childhood. Her father committed suicide and she was the one who found him. Her mom never got her treatment. Her mom remarried several times and big time jerks.

L:     Sounds like your friends are sabotaging their own relationships because of whatever reasons. I have at least a dozen girlfriends who are not involved with anyone and don’t seem to want a life partner. My girlfriend, Arlene, is a good example. You’ve met her at my wedding. Gorgeous and super sweet. She is charming and yet she has not found someone serious to be with. She does not drink heavily. She comes from a stable household. She has had a couple of committed relationships in the past, so commitment is not an issue. She lives in San Francisco so the dating pool is very decent. Yet she is alone. Weird, right?

B:     Do you ever wonder if these girls may be gay? I have two friends who are a total catches and have zero interest in getting into a relationship, and the men they date are total zeros! It is as if they seek out the men who will amount to nothing. I have watched them and wonder if maybe they are gay.

L:     I have, but I have a pretty good gay-dar and it says no. I have one who I suspected all along and she did turn out gay. I don’t know what it is. I think they are so happy alone and hanging out with their girls that they see no need to settle down. I would think it gets old.

B:     Who knows, I am sure there are so many reasons behind it. My cousin is a perfect example of beautiful, early 30’s, but no man and she wants to be married with kids. Her situation is that she picks the losers and wastes her time with them. She is definitely into men, but can’t figure out her life.

Beatrice:     Finally there is a name to the men that shadow a girl or a group of girls – Moodle. You see these men around but I have never had a word to use to describe them. You know the type. The guy who goes everywhere with a female or a group of girls, but there is no relationship and as far as the women are concerned and there will never be a possibility of a romantic relationship. I can think of a few guys that fit this picture, but one that you are familiar with, Mark. These men are not gay, and they think there may possibly be a love connection with one of the women. Who knows? I heard the name “Moodle” as a male poodle that accompany women most places they go. This topic was briefly discussed on the radio today. Why do you think these men who are considered Moodles do what they do?

Lila:     I think some men feel more comfortable with women. Maybe because they are mama’s boys. Maybe they hope there is a chance because it has happened it the past. The truth is these guys have a crush on one of the girls and there is no doubt about it.

B:     I agree that they are there for a reason, but I always found these boys odd. I always find myself somewhat uncomfortable around moodles and can’t help but feel sorry for them. Probably most women feel the same way, and if men knew this than those who play this role would probably grow a pair of you know what and stop.

L:     I don’t know about that. I think it is nice to have a guy around because they usually bring balance to the conversation. I get really irritated with girls some times. I think we girls make things so complicated so I like to hear what a guy has to say. My BFF always hung out with girls, but he later came out of the closet. As for Mark and other guys who have hung out with the girls, they pick and choose their outings. They don’t go shopping with us, but they do go to lunch with us. I don’t get creeped out at all. For Marl, I also think he is so used to hanging out with his sister and he’s comfortable with us. I like my moodle and I am going to keep him.

B:     I brought up Moodles because it immediately made me think of you. As long as I have known you, you have had a moodle. Your gay friend does not count as a moodle, according to the definition. Anyway, I do not find a guy in the mingle something I want. I know if I think I am going on a girl outing and a guy tags along, I feel I a little put off by it. That is just me, I like my female only time, because it is far and few these days.

L:     I love girl time and that means no-guys-please. But in general, I do prefer mixed companies.

B:     I like a mixture too, but not girl day/night with one random dude. Get a clue and go figure yourself out is what my mind tells me. Ha ha.

L:     I know the incident you are referring to and to his defense, it was not supposed to be an all girls thing. As you recall, Renee brought her boyfriend and there was another guy who was supposed to go, but since they were all on the same team, the manager did not approve the time off request. Mark was going to back out, but we talked him into going. I think it is unfair to consider him as someone who does not have balls to get a clue. He understood everything. We made him come along. He may be someone who likes to hang out with girls, but he never does girly stuff. I think that is the case for most “moodles.”

B:     Oh wow, you are talking about the movie? I was not thinking of this incident at all but now I will think about it. I called out Mark because every time I see him, he is in a group of all girls and the lonesome guy. I was thinking of several situations in my life that this has happened, but when I heard the name “moodle”, I thought of you because I know how many guy friends you have.

L:     Oh!!!! He is my avid Lost buddy. That one time you saw us, we were going to lunch to fill Mary in on what was going on in the show. They were all coming over to my house to watch the finale and we did not want Mary to interrupt us during the show.

I do have a lot of guy friends. I think it is because I don’t have a lot of girl friends. They are usually gay males though.

B:     I have a couple of gay male friends and sometimes they are easier to confide in than a girl, however they can be just as caddy.

Lila:     I was at Starbucks this morning and I thought what an interesting place to watch people. I saw a couple of women gabbing about their evenings. I saw some very sleepy business people. I, also, saw a cute young couple. They must be newly dating because they were really affectionate. He was hugging her and holding her hand. He fed her a chocolate donut. So cute. Remember when you first started dating you honey and how sweet things were. Hmmmm….

Beatrice:     I do remember those days. Toolman is still very much affectionate and touchy feely, but it is me who gets annoyed by it all. I guess once I had kids I got all my touchy feely with the kids who are a constant and sometimes you just want your space. We still hold hands out and about, and he has to touch me in public, but that is who he is, whereas I am not that affectionate of a person in general.

L:     You’re not? I grew up in a family that was not affectionate, but I am with Oliver and especially with Thomas. Cannot stop kissing that little guy. My brother has become affectionate since he’s been with his wife. I guess we both changed even though our family weren’t.

I was driving and thinking about those days. It was one of those lovely mornings and I wished I could play hookie. We use to walk everywhere and take our time with everything. I miss those days. I need a vacation.

B:     I am super affectionate with my kids, more so than my parents ever were with us and they are extremely affectionate little ones. I am not affectionate with my mate though, and never have felt really the need to be. Toolman is super affectionate and I just play along.

You will be on vacation in July right? We have a week off at the end of June for 4th of July in Breckenridge. My brother and his family will be joining us too. Cannot wait. We were planning on Mexico for October, but that will all depend on a few things.

L:     I think I crave the affection. We got a huge sectional so we can both fit on it laying down. TMI?

Yup. I will be out during the first 2 weeks. I’ll be at the happiest place on earth…Hawaii.

B:     Actually I think they discovered the happiest place on earth is Vienna Austria. Which by the way is one of my favorite places, of which I have visited. They have cobblestone drives. They shut down at lunch times and everyone goes home for two plus hours, even taking the kids out of school for family time. Shopping is amazing. The arts/music and buildings are to die for. They ride their bikes everywhere and are just so happy. Would love to take Toolman there some day. I know that HI was ranked high for the states, specifically Honolulu, which was surprising as it is a busy place. I need to go to HI, and I was just thinking about this on my way home from work yesterday.

L:     I did not mean Hawaii per se. I actually am not fond of Honolulu. But our ranch on Kauai is the happiest place on earth for me. If these people could see it, they would concur it would make them happy. But they can’t, so it’s our family secret.

B:     I think after traveling I have found many of those places. A lot of it comes down to who you shared your experience with as well.

L:     That’s so true. It’s the happiest place for us because there were so many good memories.

B:     I dated a guy who would travel the world, and typically do so alone. He would call me more times than I cared for. I remember telling him that it is great he travels, however he needs to do so with someone since it is hard to be excited about these new places by himself. That statement kind of bit me in the ass because he started booking me on all the trips with him. I got to go and that was fun, however he was not the best of company.

L:     That’s not too bad. You could have said no if you did not really want to go.

Oliver and I alway say that one of the best things about having a life partner is now you have the chance to share experiences together, like going on vacations and exploring together. Awww… A new relationship is all about sharing and exploring.

B:     No, he would buy the tickets and then tell me. I am sure you can figure out who I am talking about. There was this one time he bought a Mercedes and one of their offers is to purchase it in Germany. Once it was done being built, we would fly out there to pick the car up out of Stuggard’s Mercedes plant, and drive it through Germany and Austria. They told us mile by mile where to go to end up each night at the most amazing of bed and breakfasts. At the end of two weeks you say goodbye to the car and wait for it to be shipped back to the USA. I helped him pick out the car before it was done, so he thought he would surprise me and put my name on the car as joint owner. This allowed me to go on this trip. He made me drive the entire two weeks. Germany drivers are scary, and I was a wreck. I do however envision redoing this trip with my own car and Toolman. 🙂

L:     I know who you are talking about. But you could have still said no. He did not threaten to hurt you or anything. You were just smitten by him. The things we would do when you think you are on love.

B:     You can’t really say no when he pays for tickets in first class. There were 4 times that I had school and had no way out of it and chose not to go with him. He called me early on in my marriage to Toolman asking that I meet him at his office to sign over my tickets. I told him where to go. The tickets were years old and already no good, so he wasn’t trying to get me to do anything with the tickets if you no what I mean.

L:     Stop talking or even thinking about him. You know he messes you up. He was the past and he has made you a better person because you have learned from the mistakes. Let it go, otherwise you are going to have nightmares tonight. I did not bring up this topic to discuss him. I wanted you to focus on the positives in your life. He is toxic. No more!!! Sorry to has to be mean, but I hate knowing you get worked up over this fool.

B:     Oh I won’t have nightmares and after I confronted him several months ago, I had my closure and peace.